The Four Spaces of Belonging
Doug
I’ve been reading Joseph R. Meyers’ book called, The Search to Belong. In it he speaks of four spaces of belonging that provide “on ramps” for people in the church to connect with one another on different levels. Meyers says, “For harmony and for the sake of health, we need significant belonging in all four spaces.” Here are the four spaces he speaks of:
Public Space
Public belonging occurs when people connect through an outside influence (i.e. like fans of a sports team that sense community as they support the same team)
Social Space
Social belonging occurs when we share snapshots of our lives and get just enough information to decide to keep others in this space or move them into our personal space.
Personal Space
Through personal belonging, we share private (not “naked”) experiences, feelings, and thoughts. We call the people we connect in this space “close friends.”
Intimate Space
In intimate belonging, we share “naked” experiences, feelings and thoughts. We have very few relationships that are intimate. These people know the “naked truth” about us and the two of us are not “ashamed.”
This idea is one way to rethink community and small groups in your church. What are your thoughts?
Written by Doug Wolter - Visit Website
April 4th, 2007 at 3:54 pm
Makes sense to me. These are pretty intuitive spheres for community and churches seem to address them through
Public: worship
Social: church community events
Personal: community groups
Intimate: accountability groups
More importantly is how people actually connect in these environments.
April 4th, 2007 at 4:00 pm
Jonathan,
Do you think that we can sometimes push for intimate groups before people are ready? I desise for everyone to experience this kind of intimacy but I often wonder if some people are scared about the “intimate” language and environment we communicate? Do you think we need to be more intentional about providing a step before small groups to get their feet wet in community? How do we do that?
April 4th, 2007 at 6:22 pm
It seems to me that the natural stepping stone is in the public and social gatherings. Wouldnt it be good to mobilize maturing disciples/small groupers and leaders to intentionally connect with fringe people in the bigger group settings, facilitating transition into smaller groups?
Randy Frazee/Pantego Bible had Community groups 20-60 and small groups also
April 4th, 2007 at 7:50 pm
Doug – This is interesting to think about. I like Jonathon’s idea of mobilizing leaders to reach the fringe people. I still have concerns about small groups having “real” community. Is it realistic that in a small group you can be unashamed? To me it does and it seems biblically that we should just have that with other christians, especially those we have been fellowshipping with for quite a while.
April 4th, 2007 at 7:51 pm
I guess I didn’t really ask my question- then why don’t we?!
April 5th, 2007 at 12:37 am
Jonathan,
I agree that mature leaders must be equipped to spread this vision of intimacy and accountability to those on the sidelines.
Kellie, I hear you when you say that small groups should have this type of unashamed fellowship, but oftentimes it doesn’t happen or it may be forced. I long for the church to grow in close community … I wonder if this longing increases for people who are more mature in their faith or is it more of a personality difference where some feel connected without an intense smaller group atmosphere. Lots of questions, but the answers are not easy, nor is the implementation of these thoughts in ministry.
June 4th, 2007 at 3:27 pm
[...] a prior post on The Search to Belong here. [...]
January 14th, 2008 at 6:12 pm
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July 12th, 2008 at 9:03 pm
I heard about the four spaces on Doug Batchelor’s programme and i see where this concept can help to bridge the gaps in society and to foster better relationship in churches, homes and the wider community. Small groups, within groups can definitely help in greater bonding of individuals – the shy, the reserved, the openminded. Everyone may be helped in the process.