How do you talk to your children about the gospel?
Doug
How do you talk to your children about the gospel? That’s the question I was asked just recently by a good friend of mine. Let me begin by telling you I don’t consider myself to be an expert on the subject! I have three children now, and with each child I am humbled, realizing that whenever I get it right it’s purely by the grace of God. So rather than striving for greatness, I’ve learned over time the power of weakness in parenting. Like Jehosophat in 2 Chronicles 20, I often cry out to God, “I don’t know what to do, but my eyes are on You.” This is the starting point as parents–humbly depending on God.
Having said that, my wife and I aren’t sitting back passively as parents hoping our children will come to Christ. We want to do whatever we can in the strength of the Spirit to bring our children up in the Lord. We want to be intentional and very practical in our parenting. There are many books that have helped us in this pursuit, but ultimately the Bible is our foundation. One verse that I keep running back to as a guide and a goal in parenting is 2 Timothy 3:14-15.
But as for you, continue in what you have learned and firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.
From this passage I’ve learned that Christian parenting basically consists of two things: modeling and teaching the gospel. These two things, when combined together, are a powerful means of making our children “wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.”
So, what does that look like in the Wolter home? Here’s some practical things we do–keeping in mind we fail often! If you could watch us for a day or two, I am sure you would observe something close to Super Nanny on ABC. But, by the grace of God, we keep growing as parents.
Modeling — What are your children observing?
- Seeing God in everything – we try to see God throughout the day and point our kids to Him (e.g. as we take a walk, we remind our children of God’s beautiful creation; as we watch a TV show or movie we try to talk about how it either supports or goes against a biblical worldview of life)
- Praying at all times — we try to stop and pray throughout the day, thanking God and acknowledging our need for God (i.e. trying not to make prayer just a dinner table experience!)
- Not hiding our emotions — we try to be real with our kids and let them know when we are feeling happy or sad (if it’s appropriate) and then going to God together as a family in those times
- Admitting our sins to them — many times I have messed up and needed to go and ask my girls to forgive me for my sin (this inevitably creates another opportunity for me to let them know how much “daddy” needs Jesus too)
- Inviting others into our home — this has gotten somewhat more difficult with three kids, but Jaime and I want to model for our kids an atmosphere of love and openness to others
Teaching — What are your children learning?
- To Begin the Day — I usually get up and get the girls breakfast (Jaime does so much, I try to serve her in this way — plus I’m a morning person and she’s not!). During breakfast, I read from a couple different devotional materials (Big Book of Quesions and Answers by Sinclair Ferguson and A Faith to Grow On by John MacArthur) and we talk about them. It only takes about 5 minutes, but it’s one way I start the day teaching them about the gospel.
- Sometimes at Supper – Although we’re less consistent with this routine, we’ve found that it’s fun to pray for someone in our family by having each person take a picture off the fridge and pray for that person before we eat. After we eat, sometimes I’ll pull out My First Book of Questions by Carine MacKenzie and “quiz” the girls for fun.
- To End the Day — Nearly every night we try to read from The Jesus StoryBook Bible by Sally Lloyd Jones and pray with our girls. We like them to pray with us as I believe it’s good to have children learn to pray as they hear us pray. We’re also teaching them the Lord’s Prayer.
- Listening to Music as we drive — Jaime likes to put in CD’s for the girls to listen to. Here’s one that our girls really like: Seeds of Faith
- Reading Good Books Together — There are so many books I could mention here. I’ll just mention two: Big Thoughts for Little Thinkers by Joey Allen, and The Priest With Dirty Clothes by R.C. Sproul.
These are some practical ideas we have tried to implement in modeling and teaching the gospel to our children. But above all, Jaime and I try to pray for our children on a daily basis. We know that God is the only one who can extend grace to our children to save them and sanctify them just as He has with us.
How about you? We would love to hear from you and learn from you as we “do life together” as weak parents.
Written by Doug Wolter - Visit Website
June 20th, 2008 at 4:54 pm
By the way…Doug meant we sometimes resemble the families BEFORE the super- nanny has had her go with them!!
June 20th, 2008 at 4:59 pm
Oh, and one cute thing about Lily…she was asking me to sing her that “Pray” song we listen to in the car. I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what song we listened to on prayer?! I thought and thought until finally I realized she meant “PRAISE” song! Sometimes the girls have to remind me to keep my hands on the wheel because I tend to lift them up in praise while driving!
June 20th, 2008 at 5:43 pm
Doug and Jaime, Thanks this is helpful. I will be mulling over these. I really like the verse you pointed out Doug. I will add that to my prayer journal. Your last post really has me thinking about the repentance part. I have been thinking about if for myself- and I know I don’t do enough of it. So I’m thinking yes modeling it, and in discipline we often (try to always) make her go and do it over and do the right thing but I guess I want to focus on getting that we repent to be right w/ God. Sometimes I feel we are just making her ask Him and us for forgiveness. I know only God can make it come from the heart but I don’t want it to be just a mechanical thing we force either. Sorry random thoughts, would love to hear your guys’ ideas specifically on discipline sometime too.
June 20th, 2008 at 6:02 pm
Kellie, I realized I forgot to mention one of the greatest teaching tools at this age — discipline. Like you said, that’s where repentance is learned and grace is learned. I agree, sometimes it can seem mechanical. I like what C.J. Mahaney says about our own hearts being affected daily by the gospel and being open with our kids during the process of discipline about how much we need the cross too. But repentance is a work of the Spirit so we must pray for God to do his work in our children’s hearts, having patience with them as God is patient with us.
It would be great to have more disussion in person with both you and Dustin … right after we see who can do the most push-ups!
June 20th, 2008 at 7:38 pm
One other thing about repentance … Jaime and I have tried to use the Word to bring conviction and repentance rather than raising our voices. But it’s hard not to shout sometimes!
I can’t remember where we read it, I think it was the book, Don’t Make Me Count to Three, where the author used this approach. What I like about it is we ask questions like, “Lily, do you remember what Eph. 6:1 says?” Or Emie, “What does the 5th commandment say?” This leads us into what God has said and reminds them that he is the authority over us and we have not lived up to what he has said. That brings in the good news of verses like John 3:16 and Rom. 5:8. The Spirit works through the Word and so I can be confident that as it goes out it will accomplish the purpose for which it was sent. Since repentance literally means “a changing of the mind” I need to acknowledge that God’s Word is the only true agent that can bring this change.
July 10th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
Doug- Great words!!! oops, 1 sec…..”can you guys shut up please, daddy is on the computer!”–Ha! Well minus the “shut up” I’m often convicted of not listening to my boys when they’re talking to me due to my own selfish behaviors (computer, phone…etc.). We serve a God that will listen to us every time we come to Him and He’s always available…always! So, I’m learning to be more Christ-like and listen to my boys…set aside my own selfish desires and turn towards them to listen to their hearts…..
Hope all is well bro!!
Peace