Taking the Credit and Taking the Blame
Doug
I wrote this down in my journal awhile back and I wonder if you agree with me.
As parents, we take too much credit for our kids’ successes and too much blame for their failures.
If you agree, why do you think this is so? I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Written by Doug Wolter - Visit Website
March 24th, 2009 at 8:21 am
It is probably good to consider the case of Samuel (1 Samuel 8). Here was a man that followed God with his whole heart, but his sons failed to do so.
I think we need to keep a view that our children are really given to us in trust from God and that ultimately all the blessings they receive are from him. Likewise when they reject our teaching, they are really rejecting God.
March 24th, 2009 at 10:10 am
Why too much credit? Other than my own selfishness and pride which stand as a given…Start with a little of having it help me maintain the delusion that my own lack of success comes in part from my background. Throw in a little of me continuing to seek validation and identity outside of Christ. Add a dash of desiring to share the stage and get a little more glory for those who are watching my girls. Did I mention my pride?
Why too much blame? Probably starts with the fact that while I agree that nothing good resides in my flesh (Rom. 7:18), I’m not quite convinced my girls were born enslaved in sin. Add a large heaping portion of my desire to believe that I can control their lives, even their hearts. Wrap it all up in buying into the belief that my works gain blessing and my failures reap thorns and thistles in this life with Christ. Surely if I’d done it right, they’d be right…right??
How I need to join John Bunyan in believing with all my heart that my righteousness is in heaven and so is my hope (Col. 1:5)…and so it is with my girls. Their good works will resound not to my glory but to His. And their sins paid for on the cross. My hope for them founded not on their faithfulness but His. When I fail to know this, I wrongly take credit and blame for my girls. When I know it, I’m empowered to do the work I’ve been created to walk in in their lives…and to do so in a way that reflects the gospel message well.