Life2gether

“A parent’s main job is not to be a parent, but to be a person.  There are no techniques to master that will make a good parent. There is no book to read that will give the right answers.  The parent’s main task is to be vulnerable in a living demonstration that adulthood is full, alive, and Christian.”

To Save a Life is coming out January 22nd, and it looks to be a good one. What I have heard from local youth pastors is that it has a solid story line and movie is done well; it’s not “cheesy”. We’re looking to possibly get a group of students and families to go from LaGrange Baptist, encouraging them to bring an unchurched friend.  Here’s the trailer …

Wow. . . there has been some discussion on this issue of what is the future of student ministry ever since Christian Smith’s revealing book of the spirituality of teens in Soul Searching.  Since I have been involved in student ministry for 17 years and 13 at my current church, I am some what interested in this discussion.

This fall we are making some changes in our ministry on Wednesday nights for families with children (grades 1-6) and with our high school students. Here is an early post by Doug that explains these changes.  Most of the  changes have been received well, and Doug and I are thankful.  However, there have been some mixed reviews and emotions about what we are doing with high school students which is to empower and equip them to serve on Wednesdays instead of having their own “worship” time.  Leadership Journal’s summer issue was about “How churches are integrating an isolated generation.”  I would highly recommend those who are in church leadership to pick up a copy, it has some good articles on this discussion of student ministry.  One in particular is Kara Powell’s interview.   She is the executive director of the Fuller Youth Institute at Fuller Theological Seminary.  In her interview titled “Is the Era of Age Segregation Over?”, I found the answer to this question helpful:

What can churches do to increase the likelihood that our kids stay in church after they graduate?

“I think the future of youth ministry is intergenerational youth ministry. At this point in our research, we’ve found that one thing churches can do that really makes a difference is getting kids actively involved in the life of the church before they graduate.  There is a strong link between kids staying in church after they graduate and their involvement in intergenerational relationships and worship. It’s important to, we’re finding, to get beyond a token youth Sunday and start thinking about how to involve kids. . .”

This article was a good reminder for me as we are on the brink of some major changes here (which even as a leader I am a little nervous about), that we are moving in a good direction for the health of our families, students and the church.

Big Truths for Young Hearts by Bruce Ware is written for children and could be a good book to read with your children at night.  Dr. Moore has this to say about it,

“My favorite part, though, is the foreword. The foreword is written by Bethany Strachan and Rachel Ware, the daughters of Bruce and Jodi Ware. I teared up as I read their words about their Dad. They talked about how Bruce would teach them as they grew up, sometimes by singing hymns, sometimes as they drove along on trips, sometimes on one-on-one dinners together. They write: “Dad really believes the things that are in this book.”

They further write: “To parents: it may sound cliche, but we followed our father’s teaching in part because he practiced what he preached.” Read more

“Are we done yet, dad?” “Can I get up?” “Is this it?” “I am thirsty, can I get a drink?” “Can I use the bathroom?”

These are some of the questions and responses that I get from my children as we have our family devotion time. This experience is quite humbling and at times very humorous, but we believe it to be an important part in our family life. I would encourage all us to carve out time at least weekly where we sit down as a family and read the Bible, make age-appropriate application, pray and sing together as an intricate part of family life. No, this is not the method above all methods to get our children to turn out right. Our hope is NOT in a method (and I need to be reminded of this often), but it is in God! Family devotions is one of the means that God has given us to know and love Him, but it is not the end. We want our children to get God, NOT just turn out right!

Here is what the Drury’s do, not that it happens this way every week and don’t get any unrealistic expectations where dad is sitting in the chair and all four boys are sitting at his feet soaking it all in – we are a real family! But here is our plan.

1.  Dinner time.

We ask questions about their day at school and discuss the question and verse for the month (we get this out of My First Book).

2.  Bed time.

With our youngest son (3), we read The Big Picture Story Bible or something similar.  Older boys (7 and 10) we are reading through Luke.  Usually, I will read about a paragraph since the chapters are so long, discuss it with them briefly and then pray with them.  We just got done reading 1 and 2 Samuel which they loved due to the battles, blood and swords!

3.  Family Night.

We try to do this weekly.  The night is a combination of fun, sometimes playing Wii, board game, family football, etc. and a specific study – where we study a verse or passage, make application, sing and pray together. These are short, with high involvement as we try to make them enjoyable for our kids.  Here is what we are doing right now.

We are always adjusting and evaluating.  As our children get older there will be more changes, but I would encourage you to do something with your kids.  We only have them in our homes for a very short time.  May we, by the grace of God, use this time wisely.

• Read what John Piper does with his family.
• Read this previous post by Doug about Mark Driscoll’s family dinner devotions.

I had the opportunity to preach at my church this past Sunday on the subject of forgiveness out of Matthew 18.  In this passage Peter ask Jesus how often do I forgive my brother when he sins against me, and Jesus makes the shocking statement that there is no limits. Then Jesus shares a parable of an explanation of how this type of forgiveness is possible in the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant.

On reflecting on this passage as a parent, I am reminded of what so many authors say that parenting is not only teaching our children the gospel but also demonstrating and modeling the gospel to our children.  How often do we confess our sin to our children and ask for their forgiveness?  How often do they see us repenting of sin to our spouse and in our prayers? How have they seen you forgive your spouse and others who have hurt you?  These are all opportunities for us to demonstrate the gospel in front of our children.  I came across this video of the CBS morning show’s interview of the wife of Fred Winters which is a real life example of how growth in the gospel empowers us to forgive our enemies. Not only is this mom having impact on others, but her demonstrating forgiveness is impacting her two daughters also.

• Watch video from CBS morning show interview (5 min. long) Forgiving a Killer

• Listen to my sermon here.

Sorry, I usually try to post on Friday, but my sermon prep took a little longer today than expected.  I will write on Monday. Have a great weekend!  Psalm 138:8 has been a refreshing verse for me this week.

I love this time of year. What a joy it is to sit down and watch basketball games all day, I went to bed at 12:30 AM last night. I heard that even John Piper gets his TV out and watches the madness with the rest of us. Kathy and I have said that one year we are going to celebrate Conlan’s, our third boy who was born on the 18^th of this month, birthday by going to the NCAA tournament and watch Kentucky play. (Hopefully they will be able to make the tournament by then.) We have four boys and Kathy played basketball in college and I played in high school, so to say the least basketball will play some part in our family.

I know our post are to be on “Rearing Children” for the next few weeks but could not pass up an opportunity to talk about this great time of year.  I am thankful for C.J. Mahaney, for he has taught me and other dads how to take this gift of sports and honor Jesus through it. Much of what I have read in his book Humility guides a lot of my conversation to and from different practices and sporting events. Check out the following links.

• Listen to C.J. Mahaney preach “Don’t Waste Your Sports”
• Read a post that gives you some ideas of what to talk about as you are watching a sporting event.

  This is a post from the 2008 Super Bowl, but points 2 and 4 are applicable for us as we watch some of these games with our children. Here is a quote that may peek interest . . .

In my book, Humility: True Greatness, I wrote, Nowhere is the word great mentioned more often in our culture than in the context of professional sports. If you watch any game this weekend and listen to the announcer’s commentary, then like a mantra you’ll probably hear the word great repeated throughout—great, great, great. Yet it may well be that nowhere in our culture is the absence of true greatness more evident than in professional sports. So be careful about cultivating an excessive love for professional or collegiate athletics in your child. (pp. 161-162)

Intentionality is a word that Kathy and I think often about in our parenting . . . so let us enjoy this great month of basketball but also be intentional in shaping our children’s hearts in how to play and watch sports to the glory of God!