Parenting reveals what I really believe about the gospel. It’s a window that sheds light on the truths that are in my head and are slowly making their way into my heart. And whatever comes out of my heart in those parenting moments is a good indicator of how well I understand the gospel. Let me give you an example.
The other day one of my girls shocked me by saying some unkind words right to my face. I felt hurt, and I felt fear. Hurt that I could be spoken to that way and fear that my daughter was capable of those kind of words. So in that moment I reacted in anger. I raised my voice and told her to go to her room. After a long discussion we came to a place of reconciliation. But I felt like a failure as a father. How could she say that? Where had I gone wrong?
In that moment, I was so focused on my feelings I quickly forgot the gospel. The gospel says I am a sinner capable of using sinful words just like my daughter. But my hope is not in my performance or in hers. My hope is in Christ rescuing her just as he has done for me. Because in Christ, I am a sinner that’s been forgiven. In Christ, I am not a failure. In Christ, I am always in union with Christ in his resurrection and perfection. So in Christ, I’m a perfect parent regardless of my performance.
So what do I do when I fail as a parent? My friend, Dr. Eric Johnson, explains:
The gospel leads me into accepting my parenting where it’s at, taking my ongoing sins and failures (and successes) to Christ, and receiving forgiveness for my sins and mistakes as a parent. But I must remember that I am in Christ: his beloved child, righteous, already complete and perfect.
As we parent our children, let’s remember that God is parenting us. He’s using our parenting experiences to reveal what we really believe about the gospel so he can grow us more deeply in the gospel.
Yesterday I was encouraged to receive a needed word from a brother in Christ and share a needed word to a different brother in Christ. It got me thinking. This should be normal for Christians. We ought to be open to the Spirit’s nudging and not afraid to share a word of encouragement, a word of wisdom, or even a word of rebuke. Too often we forget the horizontal dimension of God’s grace. We think the only way that God will work in our lives is through our personal “quiet times.” Could it be that God is waiting for you to avail yourself to others in community who can speak a word to your soul? And could it be that God is nudging you to use your mouth as a means of grace in someone else’s life today? Pray for it. Be open to it. Don’t be afraid to speak a word (perhaps from the Word!) into someone’s life. And then be ready to humbly receive a word when God sends his messengers your way.
Paul Tripp invites us to be honest and open to God’s gracious “surprises”:
The surprises along the way are God’s surprises. He is never caught off guard or unprepared. He calls us to follow him beyond the boundaries of our wisdom, strength and character. The waiting we have to do and the surprises that we face are meant by him to be tools of grace. They are designed to release us from our self-reliance and the hold our dreams for our lives have on us.
In those moments of surprise, it is important to remember that you may be confused, but God isn’t. In this moment when you are not sure what is going on, you haven’t been abandoned. No, the opposite is true: you are being rescued. But living this way is hard for us.
Michael Wallenmeyer shares his thoughts about a book that could liberate many of us from our slavery to busyness:
Sometimes the busyness I see in my own life and in the lives of others seems more like slavery than anything else. Why are we so darn busy? Why are there no margins in our life? Why does it feel like we can never slow down? What are we teaching our kids based on the fact that we are traveling at the speed of light? What is the cost of this busyness to our families and our spiritual well-being? Should we just accept this frantic pace and learn to deal with it? Or is there something deeper going on in our hearts? Do we need to examine our lifestyle in the light of the gospel? Tim Chester is a sharp theological thinker and a man I respect greatly. He wrote a book that is a must read for Christians today caught up in the rat race,“The Busy Christian’s Guide to Busyness”.
The book is asking us to take a look at our heart to see if we are not so much victims of busyness, but rather to at least contemplate the idea that we are perpetuating this pace of life because of the things we are pursuing. But, the book does not simply stop with a critique of our own ambitions, it points us to biblical truths that can liberate us from this self-imposed slavery. Here are the liberating truths from chapters 7-12…
Chapter 7: I’m busy busy because I need to prove myself-The liberating rest of God
Chapter 8: I’m busy because of other people’s expectations-The liberating fear of God
Chapter 9: I’m busy because otherwise things get out of control-The liberating rule of God
Chapter 10: I’m busy because I prefer being under pressure-The liberating refuge of God
Chapter 11: I’m busy because I need the money-The liberating joy of God
Chapter 12: I’m busy because I want to make the most of my life-The liberating hope of God
“His grace purposes to expose and free you from your bondage to you. His grace is meant to bring you to the end of yourself so that you will finally begin to place your identity, your meaning and purpose, and your inner sense of well-being in him. . . . To add to this, he designs circumstances for you that you would have never designed for yourself. All this is meant to bring you to the end of yourself, because that is where true righteousness begins. He wants you to give up. He wants you to abandon your dream. . . . He knows there is no life to be found in these things.”
Michael Wallenmeyer on how change in the church can often be painful, but needed:
Here is what the gospel tells me, death precedes life. The good news of the cross is that Jesus was willing to go through the pain so that others could experience new life. My greatest hope and desire is that this same gospel truth is at work in our church. God is always reforming His church, and sometimes reformation means something dying for God’s glory.
This Sunday I’m blessed to be a part of Stephen Cavness’ Spring Renewal Services at his church in Cave City, Kentucky. Here’s the list of speakers and their topics. I’m looking forward to preaching from Romans 12:1-2 on, “The Gospel for Day 2 and Beyond.” My buddy, Lisle Drury, will preach on Sat. from Luke 18:9-14 on “Genuine Repentance: for Salvation and Everyday.” Please pray for us.
thursday, may 20th 6:30 PM – randy shaw – “the holiness & majesty of god”
friday, may 21st – 6:30 PM – brandon porter – “man’s relationship to god: in need of redemption”
saturday, may 22nd – 6:00 PM – lisle drury – “genuine repentance: for salvation & and every day”
sunday, may 23rd – 11:00 AM – doug wolter – “the gospel for day 2 and beyond”
sunday, may 23rd – 6:00 PM – john nelson – “more than religious: loving christ ”
My buddy, Chris Caligiuiri passed this video along to me. It gives personal testimonies of people who have been transformed by God’s grace in reading through a book called, TrueFaced. I’ve read the book and I recommend it to anyone who is tired of putting on masks for others and just wants to trust God and others with who they really are.
We all have identity issues. Many of us have created an alter ego….This alter ego contends for our identity. It pulls at your heart, your longings. It tells you that if you were just a little more like this or that, then you’d be somebody. If you were better looking, if you were more successful, if you were married, if you were more spiritual, if you had more of a following on Twitter or Facebook, then you’d be somebody.
How do you detect your alter ego? Where do your thoughts drift when you have down time? What do you daydream about? Follow your thoughts, your dreams, your heart-longings and you will find your alter ego — the thing or things that call for you to find security/identity in them.
Eric Johnson, Professor of Soul Care at Southern Seminary, calls this the “false self”. He writes,
It is indeed false. It is every way that we choose to live outside of God’s will. It is our way of resisting God and others. It is our attempt to control our lives and sometimes the lives of others. It is rooted in a refusal to not trust God to secure us. It is how we say, “I will do this my own way. I will not believe God or his words. I will be good on my own. I will not trust Christ crucified and raised from the dead.”
Some examples of the false self could be: the good boy, the independent one, the performer, the busy one, the perfectionist, the controller, the passive one, the religious one, the expert, the addicted one, the codependent, the stoic, the clown, the judge, the critic, the liar, the rager, the know it all … All of these are about control. I will control how I experience life.
His conclusion: The false self must be identified and laid bare before God and others (Ephesians 5:8-14). In this place of nakedness and brokenness, Jesus meets me, loves and heals me.
