Life2gether

Guest post by Dustin Shramek

John 17:20-23
20 I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, 21 that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me. 22 The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one, 23 I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me.

How we do life together affects whether the world believes the Father sent Jesus Christ (v. 21).
How we do life together affects whether the world knows God’s love for us, namely the love he has for the Son (v. 23).

Believing God sent Jesus Christ. Knowing God’s love for his Son as seen in his love for his people. Those are massive reasons for taking care in how we do life together.

Thank you Lord Jesus for praying for us!

If you lead a small group of any kind, I highly recommend reading Jonathan Dodson’s entire series on how to have gospel conversations.  Very helpful stuff!

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

Here’s one section by Dodson that I think is key to leading well:

Be a Lead Repenter. It is important that the leader be a “lead repenter” when answering heart-penetrating questions. This does not mean you are always the first to answer the question; however, it does mean that you come to the gathering ready to share how the Spirit has lead you into repentance in your own life. Lead repenting begins at home in your heart and naturally carries over in how you lead during gatherings. Be bold with your brokenness and invite words of correction and encouragement.

This is such a helpful post by Jonathan Dodson that I’ll quote it in its entirety:

Have you ever sat in group discussion with and found it incredibly difficult to get a good conversation going? I’ve found it can be very challenging to move conversations along, especially when you’re trying to go deep and get to the gospel. Here are a few principles that might help.

Listen to Their Story

In order to promote good gospel conversations in small group gatherings, it is important that everyone listens to one another’s story well. Don’t check out, criticize, or think about your own.Listen to their story. In order to do this, everyone must ask questions of one another, learn one another’s stories over and over again. Our lives are continually changed through conflict, challenges, promotions, relationships, and new experiences. Without asking good questions of one another, we can’t really share in deep community. Good questions help uncover the truth about how people are really doing and open the opportunity to share life and truth together. Ask questions and genuinely listen to one another’s stories.

Ask Good Questions

• Can you elaborate on that?
• How did that happen?
• How does that make you feel?
• Did you feel alone or supported?
• Were you afraid or confident?
• How did you respond?
• How are you feeling now?
• What concerns you the most about this?

Listen in order to Speak Gospel Encouragement

• What grace can you affirm in their life?
  • That’s a really helpful insight.
  • It’s been so challenging to hear you talk about your neighbor
• What victory can you celebrate?
  • We’ve seen God answer your prayer for less people pleasing
  • Isn’t it awesome how God provided this job for you?
• What progress have you seen in their faith?
  • You are fighting depression really well
  • I’ve really seen you grow in this area
• What are some ways you do this?

Move the Conversation Along Deliberately

• Develop Sermon Discussion Questions: Progress from 1) anyone can answer to 2) a challenge 3) the deeper heart idol or lie 4) what needs to change 5) How the Bible shows us we can change. Lead discussions by trying to guide people roughly through this progression.

• Ask Transitional Questions:
  • Follow up off-base or incorrect comments with “What do you guys think?”
  • Anyone else relate to or struggle with that?
  • Tom, we haven’t heard from you, what do you think?
  • Nate, can you hold onto that comment so we can hear from someone else who hasn’t shared tonight?
  • Allow silence…
  • What are some ways you do this?

Tim Chester gives this little challenge from his book, Gospel-Centred Church:

Start playing around with this principle:  ’If you wouldn’t do it as a family, then you shouldn’t do it as a church.’  It does not always work.  Families do not submerge members under water and they do not recruit new members–although good families are welcoming and inclusive.  But give it a try and see where it takes you.  Then have a go with: ‘If you do it in a family, then you can do it as a church.’

What comes to your mind?  Eating, serving, sharing, sacrificing …

Drew Dixon gives four suggestions on making the most of our Sunday morning gatherings. I resonated with this one, in particular:

Talk to people — it’s difficult to “stir each other up” when we are mere spectators at church and are not utilizing this time to build relationships. Some of my very best friends are members of our church, but sometimes I have to make a point not to spend all my time talking to them at church. At church, I want to make a point to talk to people who I do not know as well. Those who I am very close to will still be my friend if I don’t spend all my time at church talking to them and there are many wonderful, mutually encouraging relationships that can be built in our church if we will just step out of our comfort zone and talk to the people we don’t know as well. Our church is small but just big enough for folks to fall in the cracks and miss out on mutually encouraging relationships. Be intentional in your communication with people when we gather for corporate worship. Instead of blaming others for their lack of interaction with you—why not seek them out. You will only get out of church what you are willing to put into it.

Yesterday I was encouraged to receive a needed word from a brother in Christ and share a needed word to a different brother in Christ.  It got me thinking.  This should be normal for Christians. We ought to be open to the Spirit’s nudging and not afraid to share a  word of encouragement, a word of wisdom, or even a word of rebuke.  Too often we forget the horizontal dimension of God’s grace. We think the only way that God will work in our lives is through our personal “quiet times.”  Could it be that God is waiting for you to avail yourself to others in community who can speak a word to your soul?  And could it be that God is nudging you to use your mouth as a means of grace in someone else’s life today?  Pray for it.  Be open to it.  Don’t be afraid to speak a word (perhaps from the Word!) into someone’s life.  And then be ready to humbly receive a word when God sends his messengers your way.

Francis Chan, from his book, Forgotten God:

“A while back a former gang member came to our church. He was heavily tattooed and rough around the edges, but he was curious to see what church was like. He had a relationship with Jesus and seemed to get fairly involved with the church. After a few months, I found out the guy was no longer coming to the church. When asked why he didn’t come anymore, he gave the following explanation: ‘I had the wrong idea of what church was going to be like. When I joined the church, I thought it was going to be like joining a gang. You see, in the gangs we weren’t just nice to each other once a week – we were family.’ That killed me because I knew that what he expected is what the church is intended to be. It saddened me to think that a gang could paint a better picture of commitment, loyalty, and family than the local church body.” (152)

(HT: Tim Chester)

If you’re like me, you like your time alone.  You come away feeling refreshed, revitalized, and ready to live for Christ.  And then you come into contact with real people again.  And it doesn’t take long before you feel tired and impatient.  Sure you could chalk up some of this to your temperament, but we all know something deeper is going on.  It’s called sanctification.  God wants us to be in community with others because that’s where we change.  That’s where sin is exposed and humility is grown.  That’s where mistakes are made and grace is given.

Don’t get me wrong.  We need both community and solitude.  As Dietrich Bonhoeffer once said,

“Let him who cannot be alone beware of community.  Let him who is not in community beware of being alone.”

How true.  But the danger in solitude is that we miss the fellowship of others who can help us see into our souls.  We miss the encouragement and exhortation from those who care about the outcome of our faith.  As B. Witherington so eloquently put it,

“The community, not the closet, is the place where our salvation is worked out.”

Practically, wouldn’t it be wonderful to wed these two together in some kind of outing with others in your church?  Solitude mingled with community.  Community mingled with solitude.  Sounds like a worthwhile and perhaps life-changing idea.

4 New Testament (Church) Family Values:

1. We share our stuff with one another.
2. We share our hearts with one another.
3. We stay, embrace the pain, and grow up with one another.
4. Family is about more than me, the wife, and the kids.

~ Joseph Hellerman, When the Church Was a Family, (pg. 145).

Pastor Tullian:

So, we miss out on some great things God intends for us to enjoy when we separate in worship according to musical tastes. The idea to do this comes, not from the Bible, but from American consumerism and we adopt this practice to our own peril.

As my friend Steven Phillips rightly says, we ought to use the best music, prayers, and traditions of our Christian past, so that our worship is guided and enriched by our fathers in the faith. In doing this we demonstrate that our Christian faith reaches back thousands of years. And we ought also to use the best new songs and styles – to “sing a new song to the Lord” as the Psalms say – so that we can demonstrate that the grace of God is ever new. God’s saving power is available now, in the present day, to all who call on Him in faith.

By musically blending things in this way we  exercise love toward those who resonate with different musical tastes than us. We recognize that our worship service is a shared time and a shared space, so that if a particular song or style doesn’t inspire us, we can still look across the sanctuary and give thanks from our hearts for the diversity of people who are here. The gospel of Jesus Christ invites us to look across the aisle and say, “Though this song or style may not appeal to me, I see that God is using it to move you. I love you in Christ and I’m glad you’re here.”

(HT: Z)