Dr. Mike Emlet explains how Christian accountability is more than just helping each other refrain from sin, but in a much broader, and more biblical sense, living the one-another’s of Scripture together and thereby pointing one another to Jesus.
As we approach a new year, I’ve been thinking a lot about this post by Jonathan Dodson. He begins by quoting Bernard of Clairvaux (1090-1153) on why it is so important that we slow down.
If you are wise therefore you will show yourself a reservoir and not a canal. For a canal pours out as fast as it takes in; but a reservoir waits till it is full before it over flows, and so communicates its surplus…We have all too few such reservoirs in the Church at present, thought we have canals in plenty. – Bernard of Clairvaux, Sermons on Song of Songs
I encourage you to read the rest of this much needed exhortation.
If you haven’t yet purchased Tripp’s DVD series and/or book, “What Did You Expect?” I highly recommend it. Great tools for building up marriages!
What a great reminder from Justin Taylor quoting J.I. Packer about how to understand the “unexpected and upsetting and discouraging things” that happen to us.
Perhaps he means to strengthen us in patience, good humor, compassion, humility, or meekness, by giving us some extra practice in exercising these graces under especially difficult conditions.
Perhaps he has new lessons in self-denial and self-distrust to teach us.
Perhaps he wishes to break us of complacency, or unreality, or undetected forms of pride and conceit.
Perhaps his purpose is simply to draw us closer to himself in conscious communion with him; for it is often the case, as all the saints know, that fellowship with the Father and the Son is most vivid and sweet, and Christian joy is greatest, when the cross is heaviest. . . .
Or perhaps God is preparing us for forms of service of which at present we have no inkling.
Because parents are the primary counselors in their child’s life, counseling to children begins with counseling parents. Parents must be equipped to better understand and love their kids, and I would argue by first understanding themselves and their own issues. And yes, we all have issues!
Parenting reveals what I really believe about the gospel. It’s a window that sheds light on the truths that are in my head and are slowly making their way into my heart. And whatever comes out of my heart in those parenting moments is a good indicator of how well I understand the gospel. Let me give you an example.
The other day one of my girls shocked me by saying some unkind words right to my face. I felt hurt, and I felt fear. Hurt that I could be spoken to that way and fear that my daughter was capable of those kind of words. So in that moment I reacted in anger. I raised my voice and told her to go to her room. After a long discussion we came to a place of reconciliation. But I felt like a failure as a father. How could she say that? Where had I gone wrong?
In that moment, I was so focused on my feelings I quickly forgot the gospel. The gospel says I am a sinner capable of using sinful words just like my daughter. But my hope is not in my performance or in hers. My hope is in Christ rescuing her just as he has done for me. Because in Christ, I am a sinner that’s been forgiven. In Christ, I am not a failure. In Christ, I am always in union with Christ in his resurrection and perfection. So in Christ, I’m a perfect parent regardless of my performance.
So what do I do when I fail as a parent? My friend, Dr. Eric Johnson, explains:
The gospel leads me into accepting my parenting where it’s at, taking my ongoing sins and failures (and successes) to Christ, and receiving forgiveness for my sins and mistakes as a parent. But I must remember that I am in Christ: his beloved child, righteous, already complete and perfect.
As we parent our children, let’s remember that God is parenting us. He’s using our parenting experiences to reveal what we really believe about the gospel so he can grow us more deeply in the gospel.
Paul Tripp invites us to be honest and open to God’s gracious “surprises”:
The surprises along the way are God’s surprises. He is never caught off guard or unprepared. He calls us to follow him beyond the boundaries of our wisdom, strength and character. The waiting we have to do and the surprises that we face are meant by him to be tools of grace. They are designed to release us from our self-reliance and the hold our dreams for our lives have on us.
In those moments of surprise, it is important to remember that you may be confused, but God isn’t. In this moment when you are not sure what is going on, you haven’t been abandoned. No, the opposite is true: you are being rescued. But living this way is hard for us.
I encourage you to read the whole thing. Paul Tripp has a way of breaking into our hearts with the truth and grace we so desperately need.
Piper gives a great parable of how the marriage relationship starts off as a beautiful green field that we love to walk in with each other. But before long we step into cow pies (marital sins and difficulties) and they seem to be everywhere! Good counsel here on what to do with those cow pies!
This post is especially encouraging in that Piper is presently taking time away to cultivate the green field of his own marriage.
I so appreciate what Justin Davis says here. I couldn’t agree more.
I lost count of how many times Trisha asked me to go to marriage counseling. We would be arguing about the same thing over and over again, and she would say, “Let’s talk to Mark and Rhonda about this.” Mark was the pastor I worked for, and I wanted Mark to think I had it all together. I didn’t want him to know how sucky of a husband I was. I didn’t want him to think I needed help. Getting marriage help was a sign of weakness not strength. Man was I wrong. Seeking marriage counseling isn’t a sign of weakness, it is a sign of humility and teach-ability. My arrogance and pride put me on the path of infidelity.
(HT: Z)
LBC members, be sure to check out Parent Chat tonight @ 7:00 as we hear from Dr. Eric Johnson and seek to humbly grow together in the gospel.
My friend, Eric Schumacher, in collaboration with David Ward (and others) through the ministry of Reformed Praise, just released their latest album, Merciful to Me. It was co-produced by David Ward and Steve Cook (of Sovereign Grace Music). It contains the vocals of Devon Kauflin, Shannon Harris, Jake Armerding, Lucia Newell, and others, as well as a host of great instrumentalists from around the country. The 13 tracks are an eclectic mix of styles, including bluegrass, pop, classic jazz, driving rock, and orchestral arrangements.
This album is rich in the deep realities of the gospel. I especially enjoyed the song, There is No Sin That I Have Done. I found myself literally stopping and resting in the finished work of Christ. My Worship Pastor, Benjamin Brainard, also reviewed the album and gave this recommendation:
This CD has been encouraging to my soul and is filled with lyrics that enjoy the full realm of the Christian life. I think of Sovereign Grace, Sandra McCracken, Fernando Ortega, Indelible grace, Red Mountain Church, CD’s when I hear this. Some songs are meant for contemplation, and others for congregational worship. I do enjoy the stylistic variance throughout the CD. If you want a CD to worship to, or to be encouraged by, compliment your collection with this one.
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