Life2gether

Josh Harris:

Last week I drove up to Tenth Presbyterian Church in Philadelphia to speak at a weekend conference they were hosting. The highlight for me was having dinner with Paul Tripp and his wife Luella. What a great couple! I learned so much from them and enjoyed hearing all the ways God has guided them over the years.

I have to admit I was distracted when I was with Paul by the sweet pair of retro kicks he was wearing (pictured above). I’m not used to coveting the shoes of a 59-year-old guy. But I confessed my jealousy to Paul and he forgave me. He also told me that his son does marketing work for Nike and so he gets free shoes. (That didn’t really help me.)

During dinner I asked Paul to list the books he has written. As he listed off the 11 books (the latest of which is about to be released), I was amazed at how many of these books have played a key part in equipping and encouraging members of our church. God has used this man in a big way to build up the church. If you’re not familiar with Paul’s books I’d encourage you to acquaint yourself. Here’s the list:

1. Age of Opportunity: A Biblical Guide to Parenting Teens, Second Edition (Resources for Changing Lives)

2. War of Words: Getting to the Heart of Your Communication Struggles (Resources for Changing Lives)

3. Instruments in the Redeemer’s Hands: People in Need of Change Helping People in Need of Change (Resources for Changing Lives)

4. Lost in the Middle: Midlife and the Grace of God

5. How People Change (co-author)

6. Relationships: A Mess Worth Making (co-author)

7. A Quest for More: Living for Something Bigger Than You

8. Whiter Than Snow: Meditations on Sin and Mercy

9. A Shelter in the Time of Storm: Meditations on God and Trouble

10. Broken-Down House: Living Productively in a World Gone Bad

11. What Did You Expect?: Redeeming the Realities of Marriage

Visit the website for Paul Tripp Ministries to learn more about Paul’s work and writing.

My good friend and colleague, Lisle Drury, pointed me to this post.  We both got to sit down and have lunch with Paul Tripp awhile back when he spoke at our Pastor’s Conference with my friend, Justin Taylor.  And we wholeheartedly agree with Josh’s assessment!

Tim Keller, from his new DVD set, Gospel in Life: Grace Changes Everything:

Gospel-shaped people are enabled to form deep community and yet only in deep community can we become gospel-shaped people.

Out of curiosity my wife and I watched the first episode of The Marriage Ref last week.  The tagline to the show is: in marriage everyone needs a ref.  And so real couples bring an issue they’ve been fighting about and a panel of experts like Jerry Seinfeld, Tina Fey, and Eva Longoria Parker decide which one is right (this week’s experts include Madonna!).  I liked one writer’s take on the show, “It’s like a marital boxing match without the gloves [where] one of the spouses is declared the winner.”

Now I admit, the show is pretty entertaining.  I laughed several times.  And yet at the same time, I think it’s potentially devastating to how we deal with conflict in marriage.  We don’t  need a marriage ref who can help us decide who is right and who is wrong.  We don’t need a celebrity telling us who won the argument.  What we need is someone to look at us right in the eye and say that the biggest problem in our marriage is us.  Otherwise, we’ll just keep playing the blame-game and never get anywhere.

John Gottman, a respected author and marriage researcher, says that the four greatest predictors of divorce are: criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stone-walling (the silent treatment).  Seems obvious, but how many of us really know how to deal with conflict in our marriage?  We probably won’t turn to celebrity experts like Seinfeld and Madonna to tell us what to do, but are we willing to look at ourselves in the mirror and get to the heart of the problem? 

Paul Tripp, in his helpful marriage study called, What Did You Expect? says, “The greatest source of our marriage conflicts is not outside of us, but inside of us.  Relationship problems are heart problems.”  This is so important.  We must start with heart.  So Tripp encourages couples to ask themselves questions like: What am I allowing to rule my heart?  Why am I responding in anger?  And in the midst of conflict am I seeking reconciliation (I’m with you) or retaliation (I’m against you)?

In the end, we don’t need a marriage ref.  We need a Savior!  We need Jesus.  And may I add, sometimes a good, gospel-centered counselor.  After all, as my pastor says, “Every few years we go and get a thorough check-up on our car, shouldn’t we do the same in our marriages?”

In preparation for Easter I’ve been reflecting and meditating on Isaiah 53 – the most famous messianic text in the Old Testament.  Looking at this passage we see that the LORD was despised, stricken, and afflicted for our transgressions and iniquities, yet he opened not his mouth. 

Christ’s response to suffering was silence, patience, and willing acceptance.  Like a lamb led to the slaughter he was obedient.  Quite the opposite of you and me who are like stubborn sheep that have gone astray and turned to our own way.   And often, in the face of suffering, our mouths are wide open with grumbling and complaining. 

Thankfully God knows our frame and sent his ”sheep” to the slaughter to make intercession for the others … and by his stripes we are healed.

When you lose sight of God, it changes everything – just as it did for Saul in 1 Sam. 18:6-29.  While David’s eyes were on God and his kingdom, Saul’s eyes were on himself and his kingdom leaving him angry (1 Sam. 18:8) and afraid (18:12).

I encourage you to listen to Tony Rose’s sermon on what happens in our lives when we lose sight of God.  Listen | Watch | Download | Subscribe

These were his helpful application questions:

• Your perspective on other people
  • Do you expect praise for yourself?
  • Do you envy the praise others receive?
  • Do the successes of others make you angry, jealous, or glad?
• Purpose in your actions
  • Our reocurring thoughts determine how we act.
  • Do you think most about what God wants or what you want?
• What brings pleasure to your heart
  • David was pleased anytime God’s kingdom grew.
  • Saul was please anytime his kingdom grew.
  • Is your soul’s happiness being enlarged by thinking of God’s kingdom or shrunk by thinking of yours?

Michael Oh spoke at the 2009 Desiring God Conference for Pastors about his vision to reach Japan for Jesus.  Some of you know my twin brother, Mark Wolter, and his family are missionaries in Kyoto, Japan.  Please pray for them and consider joining God’s work in Japan.  As mentioned in the video, the Protestant population of Japan is about .2%, with a total population of around 186 million. Japan needs Jesus, and needs your prayers.

LBC members: Mark and his family will be coming to speak our church, Lord willing, on August 15th.  He appreciates all of your prayers and support and would love to see you all this summer.

• Read an interview I had with Mark awhile back. (Part 1) and (Part 2)

Twenty years ago my alma mater UNI (#14 seed) upset Missouri (#3 seed).  This year they went 28-4 as champions of the MVC conference and ready to make some noise in the NCCA Tournament.  Can’t wait for the madness to begin!

Jonathan Dodson:

Recent Facebook research reveals some interesting trends on what connects people in regions of the U.S. Using 210 million Facebook profiles, Pete Warden has documented and illustrated how and on what regions and cities connect. It appears that Facebook users range from a dense, regional connectedness to a cross-country connection. The lines of connection cluster into 5 regions: Stayathomia, Dixie, Greater Texas, Nomadic West, Mormonia, Pacifica, and Socialistan. Check out the interesting trends from each FB cluster.

This story of a father’s love for his disabled son made me weep and return to the cross.

(HT: Z)

Here’s a conversation between Justin Taylor and Nancy Guthrie about her new book that she’s edited—a collection of classic and contemporary essays, called Be Still, My Soul: Embracing God’s Purpose and Provision in Suffering .  She also tells her own story of suffering here.

(HT: JT)